R U OK? Day

Just like every other day, R U OK? Day is an opportunity to ask people you care about if they're ok and show them that you genuinely want to know the real answer.

Often when we're not ok, we'll brush it off with, "I'm fine", "I'm alright" or "I'm good" or even hint at our pain with something more sarcastic like "living the dream" and "never been better".

Our reflex is to shut it down and that can be for a number of reasons...

Maybe there just isn't time to explain what's really going on?

Maybe we don't want to acknowledge how we really feel for fear it might give more life to those thoughts and feelings?

Maybe we think it's just less of a hassle if we pretend we're doing well?

Maybe we don't want to burden others with our problems because of how we think it might make us look? And because everyone's got their own problems right?

Right...Everyone does have problems.

Everyone's struggling with something in their lives and everyone feels the pressure to keep it all to themselves.

Because if we speak the truth and shatter the illusion,

the genie would be out of the bottle, we'd have to confront whatever it is, in all its horror and show our vulnerability in the process... So it's no surprise we'd rather bury it deeper and with willful blindness, hope that it just goes away...

But the problem is, that doesn't work.

There's only one way to lessen the burden and free ourselves and it's not to be found on the path of avoidance and ignorance.

Try as we might, ultimately we can't run, we can't hide, we can't go over it, we can't go under it, we have to go through it and the best tool we've all got at our disposal? Talking...

In my personal experience and that of all the people who've shared their stories on the podcast, hiding the darkness inside us from ourselves and others always does more damage than when we're able to admit it's there and ask for help to face it.

We're human. Life is suffering. Pain is inevitable.

But there is also tremendous love. There is great hope.

There is immense comfort to be found in shared experience and the realisation that as much as you are an individual, you are no different to anyone else doing their best to navigate this world and find reasons to hold on.

Life is a gift.

The best gifts have substance and meaning.

So do you and it's meant to be shared, so share it and be free.